Irregular Reporting of Societal Issues^SM

Ombudsbot_beta

Like other reputable news outlets, Newsweakly faces ethical issues. In these cases, we typically turn to our office of the ombudsperson. However, as money has grown tighter, we have needed pare down our staff. One of the first positions to go was the ombudsperson.

Even with the budget cuts, ethical conundrums remained. In light of this unexpected development, we hired a reputable consulting company to harness the power of the internet, coupled with classical philosophy to plumb the deepest secrets of the world and provide reasoned recommendations to ethical problems.

In fact, we trust the results of this new ethical guide so much, we have eliminated the position of ombudsman, replacing it with Ombudsbot_beta. This has resulted in a significant cost and time saving. We are so pleased with the result that we feel the need to share it with the general public.

So, do you have an ethical conundrum? We are here to help. Just type your question in the box below, leaving out the preamble "should i" and leaving out the question mark. We handle all that stuff for you.

Try it! See the amazing power of the internet to resolve your deepest conflicts. We have it on good authority that this is exactly how Dick Cheney resolved ethical problems as Vice President, so it has to be good.

Disclaimer: Do not, under any circumstances, act on advice given from a javascript anywhere. May result in death, dismemberment, social pariah status, itching, burning, redness, or hair loss. If not completely satisfied, then ask someone else.