Irregular Reporting of Societal IssuesSM

"Get your news weakly"SM 28 November 2005

Local Family Tired Of Turkey

The Hodges, a family of four from Gaithersburg, Maryland, admitted that they have tired of the yearly turkey and wish he would just move on. Specifically, they are referring to Bob, who is Mr. Hodges' younger brother. "Bob has a unique ability to offend everyone", says Mrs. Hodges, who reportedly tried to prevent Bob from attending their wedding. "I'm not sure why they invite him back every year", said an anonymous friend of the family. As if in response to the family friend, Mr. Hodges pointed out, "technically we don't invite Bob, he just shows up with his bottle in hand". Sources close to the family report that, an attempt to recapture some of the holiday spirit, they are strongly considering moving without a forwarding address.

Disaster Strikes Weeble Community

Early Sunday morning, the unthinkable happened and paramedics rushed to assist, but to no avail—-a Weeble had wobbled and then fallen down. The President issued a statement expressing solidarity with the Weeble community in their hour of sorrow. While the tragedy has been billed as an isolated incident, some politicians are crying foul. Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) demanded an investigation to determine whether the American people had been lied to about the very basis of Weeble stability. Vice President Dick Cheney responded to Senator Reid's demand, calling such statements "irresponsible in the face of this completely unexpected Weeble crisis". "They've always told us that Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down, and now this-—I just don't know who to trust anymore", said Jim Sadly, a 30-year-old collector of vintage toys, echoing the rising fears of many Americans.


Special Investigation: Medicaid Prescription Gaps

As people across the country sign up for prescription coverage, there continues to be confusion and even anger. Questions about coverage remain unanswered in this highly complex system, but one thing becomes crystal clear—there is a fatal gap in funding for lens prescriptions. Newsweakly spoke to several people whose prescriptions were about to run out; people with nowhere to turn and no hope in sight.

As the plans stand now, an enrollee in the prescription plans can request refills on most items, but not lenses. Newsweakly placed questions with several lawmakers, but none returned our calls. It seems clear that these members of Congress lack the vision necessary to lead. Sadly, that leaves millions of our visually impaired in the dark. "I don't know what I'm going to do; my prescription runs out in six months and I could be anywhere. How will I get home?" asks Henry Glassie, reflecting the concerns of millions across the country, searching hazily for an answer.

Surveying those affected, Newsweakly has found that 9 out of 10 Americans affected require two lenses per day on their current prescription, but the existing legislation does not even cover one. "The problem here is waste", says healthcare industry expert Mi Ahpic, "with such a high percentage of people requiring two lenses per prescription, it seems like corruption; there just cannot be that level of consistency across the entire population".

While experts continue to debate, with no end in sight, the future of a lens prescription benefit look hazy. For some, time has already run out; prescriptions issued just one year ago are simply gone, with no refills. Said 44-year-old father of two, Asa Batt, "I just can't see a way out of this".

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© 2005 Lea Ann Mawler & Stuart Mawler