Irregular Reporting of Societal Issues^SM

Nantucket Schools Adopt Intelligentsia Design

The statement on the Intelligentsia Design Network web site says, "objectivity results from the use of the scientific method without philosophic or religious assumptions in seeking answers to the question: Why does the upper class allow you to live?" For supporters of ID, the answer lies in the magnanimity of the upper class.

"While we acknowledge the power of the theory of evolution to describe the biological diversity found today and the fossil record beneath our feet, we feel that not enough attention is currently being paid to the hand of the educated elite in the shaping of human and natural history", reads the official statement from Nantucket Schools. As one concerned parent stated, "We are simply trying to keep the dialogue open enough to allow for the guiding hand of aristocracy in America".

Just Announced: iPod Macro

Consumer activists expressed concern over the possible implications for incidents involving iPod Macro and iPod Nano users. "We are genuinely concerned for listener safety", said Loef Hertz, VP of Consumer Electronics with Consumer Reports, "the Macro is capable of significant damage, when used irresponsibly". Other safety activists, including some insurance industry organizations echoed that sentiment, expressing the concern that the Macro has the potential to make streets significantly more dangerous the users of millions of smaller iPod models. Apple is unrepentant saying that they are only offering what the market demands.

Nation Unprepared For Stoked Pandemic

Concerns about the possibility of a stoked pandemic have risen sharply as local health agencies have reported more sightings of stoked persons. "Normally those who are stoked are confined to the beaches or ski slopes, but cases have begun cropping up in unusual places, like the library", said Harvard Epidemiologist Luke Ahtyu. Despite these growing concerns, there is little consensus around proper treatment. Some experts favor a strict regimen of books and reading to combat the pandemic, but others point to the cases of stoked library patrons as evidence that such measures would be, at best, merely stop-gap.

Fortunately, despite the debilitating affects of the disease, stoked sufferers usually maintain an optimistic outlook, though it sometimes borders on reckless. Perhaps it is this very outlook that allows some long-term stoked sufferers to lead moderately productive lives in the X-Games.

More Recently Weak

Historically Weak