Irregular Reporting of Societal IssuesSM

"Get your news weakly"SM 25 June 2007

Web Site Radically Changes Human Behavior

According to a joint study by CSC, a major government consulting firm, and the American Psychological Association (APA), releasing a web site radically changes human behavior. People are incredibly willing to do things ahead of time, rather than waiting until after the fact. For example, the study indicates that web sites created for the IRS have caused normally delinquent tax payers to pay their taxes ahead of time. The report further concludes that the shift in behavior is directly proportional to the amount of money spent by the client on the construction of the web site. "A user can spot a well-constructed web site quite easily, so scrimping on the amount you pay a contracting company to build your web site will not get you the results you expect", says CSC's Mike Kahn-Flicht of "Interest Building", a new department within the company, focused on the development of new business through agile presentations.

Government Suffers Another Security Breach

Still reeling from the effects of repeated breaches in security, the US government suffered another setback this week, when a contractor was allowed to go to the lavatory unescorted. Security experts believe the contractor may have had access to an entire roll of sensitive papers.

Breakthrough Product Announced

PorchTech, a Grundy, Virginia-based technology company has announced a breakthrough product: the wireless, laser-based, USB mouse that connects to a PS/2 connector, receiving its power through a 3-foot power cable attached to a 7-pound, 4"x4"x5" power converter. "We are still working out a few kinks, but we feel strongly that this meets the needs of a significant portion of the population which needs to run USB mice through PS/2 connectors. Naturally, these people need a power supply, so our power cable for our wireless mouse give you that", says company president Jethro Hatfield.


US Government Adopts Open Source

The US Government recently announced a major policy shift to emphasize open source software. The shift is considered radical by those on the inside, though most outside the industry have no idea what it means. Truth be told, no one in the government has any idea what it means either.

However, consulting companies and policy makers are well aware of the possibilities presented by this opportunity. In the policy end of things, the government is concerned about security and the uncomfortable open-ness of open source software. As such, they have adopted a scheme called "Secure Open Source" (SOS). Under this plan, only developers with appropriate security clearances would be allowed to view the code. A higher level clearance would be required to contribute. The result will be a government-specific, essentially proprietary version of the freely available open source software. Security advocates hailed the announcement as a major step in some direction.

Consulting companies have lined up behind the plan, developing several competing open source products. General Dynamics is championing a version of Linux for the government space that they are calling "Finux", while Lockheed Martin has developed a completely incompatible version called "Fedux".

Not everyone is so happy about the development, however. Both the Open Software Foundation (OSF) and the Free Software Foundation (FSF) have issued statements indicating their willingness to sue over violations of the General Public License (GPL). It is their special-interest opinion that the GPL requires open source software to be open to the general public. The Justice Department is reportedly already stepping into action on this point. Sources indicate that memos have been drafted arguing the "legitimate state interest" in keeping information out of the hands of the public. According to reliable sources, the DoJ is taking the matter very seriously, as indicated by the fact that they have hired several dozen consultants from General Dynamics and Lockheed Martin to work overtime on these legal briefs.

Historically Weak


More Recently Weak

Back to Newsweakly Main Page

Except where expressly noted,
all materials are completely ficticious, facetious, sarcastic, and
© 2006, 2007 Lea Ann Mawler & Stuart Mawler