Newsweakly, 16 July 2007

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"Get your news weakly"^SM	16 July 2007

Executive Branch Splits In a cash-for-stock split, the Executive Branch has spun off the Vice President's office. The buyer is still unclear, but it appears that Exxon-Mobil will be angling for controlling interest in the office from its current controlling shareholder, Halliburton. Industry insiders feel that this change will not result in a significant change in marketing policy. Some nay-sayers feel that this move was merely a means to deflect liability away from the Executive Branch, which has treated the Vice President's office as an independent subsidiary, with its own trading symbol on the New York Stock Exchange and the Doha Securities Market (DSM). The Vice Presidents office, which will be operating under the name "Vice Presidential Industries" (NYSE:VICE) reportedly expects to focus on the existing core industries energy, security, and espionage. However, there have been promising reports that VPI, Inc may investigate growth areas in international arms and munitions deals, as well as protection money, money laundering, racketeering, and cannibalism, but only where small babies are involved. Insiders suspect that football star Michael Vick will be brought on to handle ethics. Software Testing Evolves As a part of the e-Government initiative to improve the timeliness and efficiency of government services, the White House is endorsing the addition of a new software testing methodology as part of an amendment to the increasingly controversial Sarbanes-Oxley Act (SOX). The new methodology, known simply as Faith-based Testing (FaTe), seeks to avoid the common pitfalls of testing by relying on divine inspiration and intervention. "We cannot know the divine mysteries of software", says FaTe advocate William Graham.		Developers have not been as quick to endorse the new methodology. "They don't provide us with evidence of the problem", complains Kvetch Burden. Mr. Robinson, head of the testing industry group "The 700 Problem Ticket Club", counters that this is "exactly the sort of counter-productive comment we have come to expect of the so-called Software Evolutionists, but they are just operating on theories". So far, testing teams on a variety of government contracts have firmly endorsed the methodology. Most teams report that their ability to complete tests has risen greatly since adopting FaTe. "I know that the software is not in my hands", says tester Tammy Faye Rumbaugh. A similar approach to software development, FaDe, has not been as successful. Critics have generally argued that the problem with both FaTe and FaDe is the reliance on the notion of an "intelligent designer". Opponents point out that the evidence simply cannot support such a notion. Email Comprehension Greatly Increased Gone are the days when workers relied purely on text for their communication. Now offices are increasingly taking advantage of multimedia aspects of email to enhance understanding. "I always had trouble reading a thank you note until email allowed the use of color", says Hellen Wonder, Office Manager at the Lighthouse for the Blind. "Backgrounds have definitely helped me understand the business relevance of emails", says I.M Peid, Chief Architect at Monumental Systems, adding, "Clouds are pretty". Weakly Ad: Smoker's Cough^TM Smoker's Cough^TM, Always Tasty, Always Fresh! Get more out of life, with Smoker's Cough^TM!

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