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"Get your news weakly"SM 21 July 2008

Indie Rock Group Creates Avante Garde Sound

Hailing from the suburbs of Middleville, the indie rock group Pistachio Trellis has been building a following for nearly five years. At present, they are poised and at the top of their game, but the road has not always been easy for these creatively-driven 20-somethings. There were times when critics lambasted their music as derivative, but the band persevered, putting out one album after another, each peppered with 12-15 songs, averaging 3 minutes in length, all the while plumbing the forgotten depths of guitar-driven, roots-oriented, vocal dominated, indie rock.

Without losing any hint of what makes them recognizable, the band has been able to translate their repertoire into an act so cool that many fans admit that they have a hard time understanding what makes it unique. "Part of their vibe is the essence of the leitmotif", says fan Jason Ozone of Duke University. "Like the artists of the romantic period, the band uses the leitmotif to establish a mood, but the Trellis takes the idea to new levels by using the same leitmotif in nearly every song", explains Ozone, who is a PhD candidate in Postcolonial Jungian Musico-Cultural Studies.

Many people have been moved by the original arrangements that layer two guitars, played through vintage Fender amplification, electric bass, a Hammond B3 organ, and a stripped down 3-piece drum kit. "The raw power is something very new and we imagine that we will be hearing a lot more from these young folks in the near future", says music critic Ben Dunne, who has built a career out of writing reviews of up-and-coming indie rock bands you have never heard of.

Despite the pure inventiveness of the group's musical arrangements, what really appeals to most audiences is the lyrical content. The group has spent years honing its craft, led by lead singer and primary lyricist Imi Tai-Shun. "We can relate to real people because we are people", says Tai-Shun, adding, "Really".

On the band's 12th and latest full-length album release entitled "Doorknob to the Window of My Soul", Imi Tai-Shun and his band mates
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further explore the themes that have resonated so well with Pistachio Trellis fans across the tri-state area. The 12-song release focuses on the agony of young love, sex, and drug addiction. "These are important areas that hardly see any attention in popular music", says critic Dunne, explaining the appeal of the deceptively simple lyrics. "The similarities between the Trellis and a hundred other bands is an homage to all that is good about American music", concludes Dunne.

Digerati In Danger

Credible reports have begun circulating on the interwebs of hip young professionals and other people cooler than you being lured into life-threatening situations. According to several emails from unknown sources, forwarded through a series of unidentifiable off-shore mail servers, the latest and greatest Apple iPhones are being used to lure young, predominantly male, self-identified technorati into all night coffee houses. Once inside, the unsuspecting victim is mesmerized by the stunning graphics and 3G-based internet connectivity of the iPhone, while simultaneously drugged with overpriced lattes. Only later do the unsuspecting digerati realize that the purveyors of the iPhone have removed their kidneys. Reports indicate that most victims find out via an email sent to the iPhone, saying, "Please use this iPhone to call for help; your kidneys have been removed". Notably, once alerted to the situation, many persons apparently ignore the message so that they can finish reading about the latest Mac OS update on, while blogging about the experience.

McCain Leads Obama In Crucial Voting Block

A recently Newsweakly poll shows that Republican presidential nominee Senator John McCain (AZ) has a significant lead over his rival, Democratic presidential nominee Senator Barack Obama (IL) in the highly influential curmudgeon voting block. The poll shows McCain leading 99 points to 1 with a 1 percent margin of error. The poll was conducted at Bob Evans and Cracker Barrel restaurants in close proximity to retirement communities across the country on Sunday afternoons.

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